Thursday, May 29, 2014

Coffee Chat 14.0: When S.K. Met Lynda


ER: Today feels like a day for reminiscing, so I got out an old photo album and figured SK and I could look through it when she gets here. It'll be fun while we have our coffee. [Looks around, under tables, behind doors.] Assuming she's not already here, that is . . . 

SK: [Runs in and plops herself next to Lynda.] I love to reminisce!!! Oh, good morning and all that. Sorry I'm late this time; it was difficult to outrun that cop who wanted to stop me. I had to take the long route here. Can you believe it? Why would any cop want to stop me? Anyway, lemme see those pics. [Pulls album out of Lynda's hands.] Are you getting us coffee? I've already had three cups. Hey, wanna go for a run after we're done with these?


ER: You were chased by a cop? 

SK: Oh, you know . . . I saw some red boots and I thought of Live Bacon—isn't his name adorable?—and I figured he could use them. [Shrugs.]

ER: But what does that—never mind. I'm just glad you're here, safe and sound. And three cups of coffee? Did you run beside the car or actually sit in it? Maybe you should eat a bunch of carbs to slow you down a bit. [Plops down a plate with leftover lasagne.] Here, eat this. That'll have you sitting still for a while.

So, the photo album—

SK: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh . . . sure, yeah. You know what this makes me think of? When you and I first met.

ER: Exactly why I brought it out. Look at us! Weren't we cute? I think we were completely adorable. And look, even then, we were future coffee buddies.

                       

SK: The art of coffee drinking takes years of practice. Though, if I'd tried to drink the thing back then my parents would have probably rung my ears. We weren't allowed to try it until we were older. Anyway, yes, years later . . . I was approached by you via this magical world called "the Internet." Who knew we'd get along so perfectly? Well, actually, we hit it off immediately so I suppose we both kinda knew it was the start of awesomeness.

ER: When it clicks, it clicks. Really, though, I think our completely dissimilar upbringing, vastly different interests and skills, age gap and locations contributed to our instant connection. Opposites attract, right?

SK: Chemistry 101. So what if you're completely unlike me? We have the same twisted brain and if that's not destiny, I don't know what is.

I remember when you first followed me on Twitter and I read your bio; I immediately showed it to hubby. "Smile: it's the second-best thing you can do with your lips." What's not to like?

ER: Well, it IS. I can't argue with the facts. And you were a make-stuff-up-er. I couldn’t say no.

I knew we'd bonded when you told me I had twenty-four hours to edit your book and I still wanted to do it. Kind of like joining a sorority, only more pleasant, with nicer people.

SK: Well to be fair it was half a week, and I was giving you an out. My editor at the time took two weeks with the MS because of family issues and put a dent into our "proofreading" time. I was on a deadline for ARCs since I'd booked a review tour, AND my formatter was waiting. Boy, was I stressed! I'm glad you didn't take my cancelation talk, 'cause look at us now!

ER: I was determined to keep you. That's all there was to it. This was one time when my stalker tendencies paid off big time.

We're coming up on our anniversary, you know. We really should plan something fun. After all, we've had our fair share of adventures. And now I have a donkey in my yard to keep Live Bacon company! (Thanks, Lee!) You know what that means . . . do you think we can take a tour of a coffee plantation or something? We already have the donkey. That's like a free ticket to get in. Um, and you might need to ride in the burlap sack on the side—but only temporarily.

SK: Oh, umm, I think I'm banned from coffee plantation tours . . . I don't want to talk about it. But I'm pretty sure we can take the donkey with the burlap sack and ride through a wine tour. I'll bring an extra big bag for each of us and we can bring some empty screw-top wine bottles to sneak some wine home. You in or out?

ER: But you grew up in Venezuela. Surely there's a plantation you haven't been banned from—oh, forget it. I live in wine country, so a wine tour would be fabulous! There's nothing that says "quality wine" better than a screw-top bottle. We might even be able to leave the donkey at home that day. I haven’t seen many donkeys in the grape fields around me . . . one, to be exact.

SK: Speaking of me planning some more of my SK shenanigans, do you remember how long our first chat was? We must have come up with at least ten plans for our future adventures and laughed the whole time. I think my favorite yet is creating a blog in which our "old-lady selves," Adelaide McClingy and Mildred Loudermilk, offer horrendous romantic/life advice to our readers. I still think we should try it.

What about you? What's one of our favorite topics we discussed early on?

ER: Mildred and Adelaide are definitely contenders for our top ideas. I even think I have a picture of our future selves somewhere.



SK: I can't believe you shared this! How dare you reminisce into the future? Of course I'm not surprised you chose a picture where you look better than me. Pffft.

ER: I can’t help it. I’ve aged longer than you have, and I’ve gotten really good at it.

We've had so many plans to either get rich quick or to save the world that it's hard to keep track of all of them. I do have a faint memory of trying to convince someone that we needed a shot of a guy in a kilt (that we'd provide, of course) for a future book of yours, just so we could have a kilt-guy photo we took ourselves. And there's always our retirement plan of you writing really awful erotica—which, of course, I won't be able to edit—just to pay the bills.

SK: Yes, if all else fails I shall eroticize some words and sell it as comedy porn. Ha! Funny you should mention the kilt. Wait until you read Static; I did add a tiny kilt usage just for you, Lynda.

ER: Och!



As always:

You can find S.K. Anthony in a number of places. She's on Twitter @SKathAnthony, her website is www.skanthony.com, her Facebook page is S Katherine Anthony, and on occasional occasions, she'll be right here with me, drinking coffee and laughing it up over our latest plans and schemes. And possibly even talking about books and writing. 

You can find me here. I'm always here. 

42 comments:

  1. I think you should start that blog! It would be hilarious.
    Still chuckling about the lips thing...

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    1. Awesome "lips" thing, right?
      We might start it, we have to figure out which member of our family we have to neglect to make it happen. Sacrifices must be made for the greater good, after all.

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    2. Hey, lips are best used for smooching, and that's all there is to it. Smiling is just a side benefit.

      And if sacrifices must be made, well then, my family will just have to understand that my old-lady persona in the virtual world simply must take precedence over my real self in the house.

      Delete
  2. I think Mildred and Adelaide is brilliant. You should do it like a "Hints from Heloise" "Dear Abby" crossover. It would be hilarious. I would wait for each installment with abated breath.

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    1. Hmm, if we did it you might have to be our first writer with a question. Someone has to get the ball rolling, amirite?

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    2. Yep, I can come up some real doozies

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    3. Dear Mildred and Adelaide, I think I am in love with this girl but she might be a vampire...

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    4. I already have an answer for that, brewing in my brain. But you won't find out the answer unless we start that blog . . .

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    5. I..can't...wait. (face turning red)

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  3. I love the pics - especially the Mildred/Adelaide one. Your future selves look quite feisty!

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    Replies
    1. What on earth do you have against Baby Lynda and Baby SK? lol And yes, feisty is my middle name. Lynda's might be grumpy . . . let's let her tell us. :P

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    2. Feisty is a wonderful word and I think it describes us quite well. Of course, Mildred is showing us a whole lotta leg, and I look like I could've been a heavyweight contender.

      My middle name, actually, is Hershey Kiss.

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  4. Glad to see that the two of you won't have mellowed by the time you hit the Mildred and Adelaide stage. Consistency is so important, don't you think?

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    Replies
    1. That's what we aim for: consistency. You hit the nail on the head. lol

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    2. Consistently strange should have us on the straight road to happiness. If we lose our memories by some strange twist of old-age fate, I'm sure we'll be happy to keep re-meeting each other on a daily basis.

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  5. Wine. I'm thinking Sideways. You two will always find a way to get into trouble.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Yes, we will. Don't let Lynda tell you I make her join in my mischief, she eagerly looks forward to each adventure.

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    2. I discovered long ago that protests fall upon deaf ears. I would say there are no surprises anymore, but I'm not entirely sure I could say it truthfully.

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  6. You two are nuts. You were both adorable.

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    1. Oh, Nana! Someone who appreciates our adorableness. Nuts just goes with the territory.

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    2. Hey, what a minute—you said "were" adorable. Hmm.

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    3. Yeah, I caught that too . . . what does "were" mean? I think Lynda needs to edit that to "are." :P

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  7. Utterly delicious! Now I am heading to work with a chuckle!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to have made you smile! You know, smiling is the second-best . . . well, you know the rest.

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    2. Hmm, hmm, good . . . wait, this was your opinion, but if I agree I can add to it, right?

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  8. I love when you both talk and especially Ilove the cute pictures of you both lol
    You are really funny and i enjoy when I visit you.
    How are your little twins?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We always have a good time, and whenever we can look cute, we do it up.

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    2. Gloria, we have fun when we talk, the pictures? Well, we just cross our fingers they're photoshopped with cuteness.

      The twins are doing great! Thanks so much for asking. :D

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  9. With the addition of Donkey, you now have significant float opportunities with a charming farm-animals-we-love theme. I think I'll make the omelet and bring a rasher of soy bacon. I don't want you to only have Donkey in the corral.

    The blast from the past and the future was perfect. We should talk about elder fashion at some point. :-)

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    Replies
    1. I'm going to trust your fashion sense because you look awesome as all get-out in your profile pic. I'll bet you even have a bathing suit that fits.

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    2. I bet she does. She'll out-do us, Lynda . . . best not bring the camera when we invite her to float while we discuss fashion.

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  10. I've been swamped with "stuff" and haven't been able to pop in for a while. LOVED this post!!!

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    1. Glad you're back, Donna! I'm pretty far behind in visiting blogs, too, and everyone is going to be extremely surprised when I read three weeks' worth of their posts and comment all in one day.

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    2. "Stuff" is taking over all our lives, to be honest. Thanks for making time for us, Donna! :)

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  11. Beautiful at any age ladies. I agree this advice blog needs to happen. Glad you guys found each other it was fate and now we get to enjoy it.

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    1. I'm pretty sure it's the hot-hot swimsuits that are winning everyone over.

      Yes, indeed, it was fate. Everybody wins! Some things are just meant to be. :)

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    2. Lynda, I'm not responding to Brandon. Not until he sees the error of his ways . . . I mean, where is our dessert this time around? He has the nerves to show his face and pay us a complement? I mean thanks and all, but FEED US! lol

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  12. Aha um, ER and SK,

    An anniversary and a donkey in your yard. I thoroughly skimmed, um, I thoroughly read you nice little chit chat. I'm now transfixed by that "photo" of your adorable future selves dancing and grooving.

    I sense the chemistry between you two amazing ladies. Then again, my be the effect of crap British coffee.

    That's it, I'm going now. Please don't cry.

    Gary ::)

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    Replies
    1. Gary, we do tend to celebrate just about anything that comes our way. I won't deny it. Any excuse to have a party together!

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  13. We make a career out of eroticizing words and selling it as comedy porn. You guys should try it. You'd be great at it. Make sure you include the tiny pig with rainboots. That little thing is never not funny.

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    1. So comedy porn is a thing, huh? At least you've primed the market for us.

      I'm going to leave the actual writing to S.K., though. If anyone can work a tiny pig—complete with red rainboots—into a story naturally, it's that gal.

      Delete

I love comments, and will always answer them, partly because I like having the last word and partly because I just like getting to know the people who read my blog.